I just finished a book called Invited, The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness by Leslie Verner. I joined the launch team for this book because I’ve been the lonely, the left out, and the unwelcomed. At least that’s how I felt, I don’t think anyone intentionally wanted me to feel that way.
If you’ve visited different congregations trying to find where you fit, you know the humility and the awkwardness that comes with being the new kid. But instead of waiting for an invitation to join in, why not be the one offering the invitation?
Jesus told Zacchaeus, “I’m coming to your house today!” I’m not saying you should invite yourself to the house of someone you don’t know, but maybe invite them to your house. It’s easy to look at the ones talking, hugging and crowding the aisles with their conversations and feel jealous. Instead, find the one who is sitting alone and go sit by them.
After reading some books and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, here are three things I’ve learned about hospitality – three things I have to keep in mind when I find myself slipping back into my hermit crab shell.
HOSPITALITY IS NOT EASY
In Genesis 18, we read a story of some strangers walking upon Abraham and Sarah’s tent. Abraham says, “Quick, make some bread.” Then he kills a calf and has a servant prepare it for their unexpected quests.
I happen to think hospitality is much easier today than that! But it’s not easy when it requires you stepping out of your comfort zone to offer an invitation to someone you don’t know that well or opening your door to a guest that you weren’t expecting. In her book, Leslie Verner quotes her husband saying, “When in doubt, choose community.”
When in doubt, choose love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Because those are the fruits that will point others to Jesus.
EVERYONE CAN BE HOSPITABLE
“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”
Romans 12:13
You may think, “I live in the suburbs, all my neighbors have nice houses and multiple cars. What needs could my neighbors possibly have?” Maybe all their physical needs are met, but that doesn’t mean their relational needs are met. No one is immune to the negative emotions that accompany loneliness.
When we read in God’s Word to practice hospitality, it doesn’t say it’s only for those with that gift. We are never told that being hospitable is only for those that feel comfortable reaching out to strangers. We have to assume it’s for all Christians. Loving others and being a good neighbor are not just for the extroverts.
HOSPITALITY DOESN’T HAVE TO BE IN YOUR HOME
In America today, we have this idea that hospitality has to be pretty and it involves entertaining friends in your home. If pulling off a Pinterest-worthy party overwhelms you, then take heart my dear friend – it doesn’t have to be that way. That woman sitting by herself at church doesn’t need your house to be clean or your exceptional cake decorating skills. She needs a friend.
Fortunately, friendship can happen anywhere:
-At a restaurant or coffee shop
-At the park on a playdate with kids
-At a church social she might not attend unless she’s invited
Friendship can begin right there in the pew. Meeting, greeting, and welcoming are not just for those who are comfortable doing it. If we want visitors in our church, or even those that have been there for years, to see Jesus in our congregation then we have to be like Jesus.
What holds you back from being hospitable? Or maybe you have some tips to help the introverted soul reach out to someone around her. Share in the comments below!
If you would like to read more on this topic, you can preorder Leslie’s book here. It comes out August 13th! If you preorder, you can be entered to win some amazing gifts or books – check them out!
I pray that we can be people who open our doors and our hearts. And that we’ll show love to our friends, our neighbors, and the people we haven’t met (yet).
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