The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
Psalm 28:7 NLT
Last week I wrote this post about Why Your Phone Does Not Give You the Connection You Crave. To briefly summarize, our phones are intentionally addictive tools for distraction that make us feel left out, lonely and, ironically, disconnected. We continue to turn to our devices for comfort and connection, but rarely do we feel more comforted after holding our phones.
Today, I’d like to share some tips for tackling our addiction to our smartphones. But first I’d like to discuss another issue with phones and technology in general: It takes away our appreciation and desire for solitude. This isn’t just about social media, but also podcasts, audiobooks, music, and even ebooks. Solitude is not only being by yourself, but it’s being alone with your thoughts without the input of others. How often do you just quietly sit and listen—to nothing? Even as someone who loves “quiet time,” I rarely enjoy my time alone without a book or a podcast or even music.
Time to think and consider our emotions makes us more empathetic and compassionate when someone else is feeling those same emotions. But today, there are so many ways to numb and distract that we don’t have to dwell on deep feelings very long. If one Facebook post makes us sad, just scroll a little longer to find something happy. Think about the emotional “whiplash” that Keven Reinke refers to in his book 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You:
“Life online is a whiplash between deep sorrow, unexpected joy, cheap laughs, profound thoughts, and dumb memes. Our social media feed gives us what is sometimes riotous, sometimes amazing, sometimes dizzying, and sometimes depressing…Because they hit and leave so soon, we seldom feel the weight of our emotions…We become content to ‘LOL’ with our thumbs or to cry emoticon tears to express our sorrow because we cannot (and will not) take the time to genuinely invest ourselves in real tears of sorrow. We use our phone to multitask our emotions.”
If you scroll through Facebook or Twitter and wonder, “Where is this person’s compassion and empathy?” it’s because our fast-paced technology-focused culture doesn’t allow us time to consider any opinions but our own. We “like” what we agree with and scroll on past what we don’t like.
By spending time in solitude, we paradoxically grow our connection with others, and even our connection with God. In solitude, we can talk to God and pay attention to the moving of the Spirit. But by surrounding ourselves with so much noise, we take away time we could be casting our anxieties on Him, and giving ourselves rest in Him.
But change is hard. And in order to change our noisy technology habits, first we must recognize there is a problem. I’ve listed some: addiction, distraction, isolation, lack of solitude. And ultimately the problem with all these things is that they take us away from relying on God.
Then we must have a desire to do something about it. This isn’t just about phones but any bad habits we want to change. How many people resolve to lose weight every New Years Eve only to never take the steps or to give up halfway through January? How often do we claim we want to read our Bible more or pray more only to give our time to easier, less rewarding activities?
I’m convinced we must look at the benefits of long term satisfaction over short term pleasure. What satisfies and brings you happiness? Can you say that staring at your phone for an hour brings you joy? For me the answer is absolutely not, but yet I continue to “accidentally” do this.
What brings you long-term satisfaction in your life? I don’t believe it’s giving in to cheap pleasures. A fast food meal, watching porn, drinking wine, eating all the ice cream, buying more clothes, staying up late scrolling through Facebook—do any of these things actually make us feel good? In the moment, we feel pleasure, but as soon as it’s done, we’re left feeling worse. Seeking out the things that truly satisfy is the way to build a rewarding life.
How happy is the one who does not
walk in the advice of the wicked
or stand in the pathway with sinners
or sit in the company of mockers!
Instead, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction,
and he meditates on it day and night.
Psalm 1:1-2
To love and obediently serve God is the longest lasting reward you can find, the treasure you have been searching for. To find your happiness in others and other things is walking down a road that only leads to disappointment. My smartphone does not bring me joy or peace, so why do I waste so much time on it?
I’ve been hesitant to write this post because do you know how many tips I’ve read for changing smartphone habits, and do you know how many of them I’ve actually tried? Too many and none. Do you know how many times I’ve deleted Facebook from my phone only to add it back days later? I don’t write this post as someone who has it all figured out, but as someone who is still figuring out what place I want technology to have in my life.
Tips for Keeping Your Phone from Interrupting Your Life
- Turn off your phone. This stops you from those quick glances to see if you have any notifications, from hearing buzzes and pings while you’re driving, and to help you focus on what or who is right in front of you.
- Turn off your notifications. If turning off your phone entirely sounds dangerous (“What if there’s an emergency?”), then turn off app notifications. You will not be notified of an emergency through Twitter and no Facebook post requires your immediate attention.
- Delete apps that are not beneficial to you or that drain you—speaking of Facebook and Twitter.
- Designate certain times of the day as phone free. Morning time, meal times, night times. What times do you need more focus? Whether it’s focus on your spouse, children, work, or craft, choose those times to be less distracted.
- Designate a day of the week to be disconnected. Weekends or weekdays, whatever day you can manage it, try it!
- Become a digital minimalist. From Cal Newport’s book, Digital Minimalism: “The problem is that small changes are not enough to solve our big issues with new technologies. The underlying behaviors we hope to fix are ingrained in our culture, and…they’re backed by powerful psychological forces that empower our base instincts. To reestablish control, we need to move beyond tweaks and instead rebuild our relationship from scratch, using our deeply held values as a foundation.”
To fully embrace a digitally minimalist life, Newport suggests:
“1)Put aside a thirty-day period during which you will take a break from optional technologies in your life. 2)During this thirty-day break, explore and rediscover activities and behaviors that you find satisfying and meaningful. 3)At the end of the break, reintroduce optional technologies into your life, starting from a blank slate. For each technology you reintroduce, determine what value it serves in your life and how specifically you will use it so as to maximize this value.”
There is more to it than that, and if you’re willing and brave enough to go there, read his whole book on this topic. I’m currently half way through it! One thing that Newport addresses in his book is that to be a successful digital minimalist, you must take that time you would have spent on Facebook and fill it with something else. Next week I’ll write more on that topic!
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