I remember living in “survival mode.” With two children under two, the days felt never-ending. Every decision was some variation of “What will help us make it to nap time sooner?” Survival mode happens when life becomes too much, or even when we feel like we’re not enough. There will be times in our lives when survival mode is our only choice, but how can we move from surviving to thriving and how can we live spiritually healthy lives when we’re just trying to make it through the next hour?
Thriving vs Surviving
When we are thriving, we are adapting to our surroundings, flourishing in our gifts, and producing results. When we’re just surviving, we may be doing the bare minimum to remain alive. For me, it was goldfish and TV for the toddler, pacifier for the baby, and coffee for mom. Repeat.
Maybe survival for you right now is, “I have cancer, and I’m just trying to survive these treatments.” Or “I hate my job, but I have to come here everyday until I can find a new one.” Maybe it’s “I’m taking care of my kids and my parents and I’m too exhausted to take care of me.” I’d like to share with you some ways that we can remain fruitful even in our suffering.
Remember God from the Past
The first thing we can do is to look back, and remember God. Sometimes we look back and obsess over what we did or said that was wrong. Then we’re stuck in guilt or regret, and that must be what Paul had in mind when he said to forget what is behind and strain toward what is ahead (Philippians 3:13).
But God actually commands His people to look back—not at the bad, but at Him. He commanded the Israelites to “remember” Him 16 times in the book of Deuteronomy. “Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out of there with a strong hand and an outstretched arm” (Deuteronomy 5:15). Later in the book of Judges, when defeat defines God’s people, the author says, “they forgot the Lord their God” (3:7).
When we are barely surviving, God does not want us to forget Him as we become consumed with our circumstances. When we remember God and how He has helped us in the past, we can trust that He will help us in the struggles we face today.
Here are some ideas that can help you remember God:
- Journal about a time God helped you through a difficult time.
- Listen to stories from parents, grandparents, friends, and family.
- Read about people in the Bible who were helped by God.
- Keep a prayer journal. List what you’re praying for, then go back later to see where God answered your prayers.
Stay Focused on Your Present
Another way to help ourselves move from surviving to thriving is to keep our eyes on our own paths. When we glance from side to side at how everyone else is doing, we only feel worse. We wonder, “How is she so put together while I’m at the grocery store in my pajamas?” As we begin to feel like we’re failing at life, we will withdraw and isolate ourselves, feeling like we must suffer alone, adding loneliness to the list of emotions we already feel.
One of the ways we can quit comparison is to decrease our social media usage, or to use it more wisely. Because here’s the thing about social media—and I know you know this, but it doesn’t hurt to hear it again and again—most people are not sharing the hard stuff. When your best friends’ mom’s cousin is posting all the fun things she is doing, don’t forget that there are struggles you can’t see. She may be dealing with depression, divorce, grief, a family member’s drug use, or abuse from her employer. But you can’t see all that in a photo. If we understand this, we can stop comparing what’s going on inside of us with the cleaned-up outside of someone else.
Let each person examine his own work, and then he can take pride in himself alone, and not compare himself with someone else.
Galatians 6:4
We can thrive when we keep our eyes on our own path, talking to God as we go, looking to Him for our daily bread. What is it you need today? Ask God for peace when you are swirling with fear. Ask Him for patience to endure suffering. Tell God you’re lonely and you need love. Or maybe it’s courage you need as you face challenges head on. Ask God for what you need today, and He provides it like manna from heaven.
Have Hope for the Future
Finally, as we look into the future, let’s remember to do it with hope. Hope gives us perseverance and patience, which we also know as long-suffering. If two runners fall down in a race, one is hopeful and one is hopeless, we can guess which one is actually going to get back up and try to finish the race. Hope helps us to keep going.
However, hope is more than an optimistic outlook—it takes trust. When we put our hope in God, we trust His presence with us now and in the future—even if the outcome is not what we wanted. Even if you don’t get that new job or your child doesn’t come back home. Or your cancer isn’t gone or you can’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.
Psalm 33:2-22
Remain in Him
In Genesis, Joseph names his second son Ephraim—“because God has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering” (41:52). Throughout Joseph’s time in Egypt, he remained close to God, and Jesus wants us to do the same. We cannot bear fruit on our own.
Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
John 15:4
I hope you allow Jesus to provide rest for your weary soul and water for your thirsty branches. May he mend your broken heart and give you peace while you wait out the storm. May you accept his gentle compassion and his faithful love as he pours it out abundantly. May you find rest in His loving embrace.
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