The Character of David, The Bad

Welcome! This post on the character of David is consistently one of my most popular posts! I’m so glad you found it! My current writing focus has shifted to encouragement for those that feel lonely and how we can connect with God, ourselves, and others. If this topic interests you, read my latest blog posts!

You are reading part three on a series of the life of David. Read part one, then part two.

But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord.
2 Samuel 11:27

In my previous post, you read about the good things in David’s character. He often prayed to God for guidance and he was a man who listened to his conscience. But today, you’ll read about the shadow side of David — he was a man who had a hard time controlling his temper and his lustful feelings. He left his children undisciplined and that caused a lot of havoc in his life later.

I only write this post to share that David was a human with imperfections too. We all have sins we struggle to leave behind. But that doesn’t mean we are unloved or unusable to God.

DAVID HAD A TEMPER

In I Samuel 25, we read the story of what happened between David and Nabal. As David and his men were hiding out in the wilderness (to stay away from Saul), they kept safe the flock of Nabal. Unfortunately for Nabal, when your name means fool, that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

David requests from Nabal food for himself and his men, but Nabal refuses. David is insulted and says, “Get your swords!” (I Samuel 25:13, NLT). Four hundred of his men are ready to go destroy Nabal. Fortunately, Abigail, Nabal’s wife, is smarter and kinder than he is. She intervenes with food and apologies to David.

David reacted harshly to Nabal’s insult. Luckily, someone stepped in and reminded him of the way of the Lord. But we see in this story David’s short fuse. How often did David kill when there could have been a better solution?

DAVID HAD TOO MUCH BLOOD ON HIS HANDS

That leads me to this point — God said David had too much blood on his hands to build the temple. In 2 Samuel chapter seven, we read the story of David resting, finally, in his own house, safe from his enemies. He has an idea to honor God — he wants to build a house for the Lord! But God tells David no, and in I Chronicles, we learn why:

And David said to Solomon: “My son, as for me, it was in my mind to build a house to the name of the Lord my God; but the word of the Lord came to me, saying, ‘You have shed much blood and have made great wars; you shall not build a house for My name, because you have shed much blood on the earth in My sight.”
(I Chronicles 22:7-8)

David was a fighter, beginning with his defeat over Goliath. But he didn’t stop there. David became a leader in Saul’s army. Later, as he’s hiding from Saul, he his still fighting on Israel’s side.

And there was war again; and David went out and fought with the Philistines, and struck them with a mighty blow, and they fled from him.
I Samuel 19:8

There was also the previously mentioned incident with Nabal. And in 2 Samuel 6, we read when Uzzah was struck dead by God for touching the Ark of the Covenant while they were moving it. As King, David should have known the procedures for the correct way to move the Ark, or at least have known who to ask. It appears that David was careless, and God knows this. It’s also true that,perhaps, God knew David’s future.

DAVID COMMITTED ADULTERY

Probably the most well known of David’s sins is his adultery with Bathsheba. David already had wives, but we’ve seen his inability to hold back his emotions, and a carelessness with rules. But when Bathsheba conceives a child, David does not confess and beg for mercy. Instead, as we so often do with our own shortcomings, David tries to cover it up.

David asked for Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband and one of David’s own mighty men, to come back home. He wants Uriah to go be with his wife, so that it will appear as if the child is Uriah’s. Unfortunately for David, Uriah is more more loyal than he. He will not go home while his fellow soldiers are fighting, not even when he’s drunk. Sadly, David pays Uriah’s loyalty with lies and deceit and arranges to have him killed.

DAVID LEFT HIS CHILDREN UNDISCIPLINED

David had many wives, concubines, sons, and only one daughter that we know of. Unfortunately, the worst of his behaviors — lack of self-control —was passed on to his children.

One son, Amnon, rapes his half sister, Tamar. David does nothing to punish Amnon. After two years of no consequences for raping his own sister, another son takes matters into his own hands.

Absalom kills Amnon. One son killing another son, can you imagine David’s grief? But Absalom flees to avoid punishment. And when he returns three years later, we have no record of David addressing the matter with Absalom.

A third son, Adonijah, takes advantage of David’s old, weakened state, and tries to overtake the throne. A verse tucked into this story gives a nod to David’s lack of parenting skills:

“Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, ‘Why are you doing that?’”
I Kings 1:6 NLT

For better or for worse, our children often reflect our own behaviors right back at us. It may be easy to let things go when we blame ourselves for inadvertently teaching them the wrong behavior in the first place. But, in David, and many other stories, we see the consequences of withholding punishment just because it doesn’t feel good.

THERE IS HOPE!

I don’t write these words to paint David in a different way than you may have read of him before. It just goes to show that God does not expect perfection out of you (or your husband, or your children). You can be imperfect and still be chosen by God. Others see your actions, but God sees your heart.

In my next post, I’ll write about the power of God’s grace. How did David, who messed up in so many ways, gain the title “a man after God’s own heart?” And how can you be a woman after God’s own heart?

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Has a flare up of anger ever caused you to do something or behave in a way you know you shouldn’t have?
   
2. Maybe it’s not anger that get you into trouble, but another emotion. When was the last time you let your feelings justify your rotten behavior?
   
3. God told David that he would not be the one to build a temple, but God made him a better promise instead. Read 2 Samuel 7. Have you been told no, for example, to a job, and then received something better?
   
4. Have you known someone that had many terrible things happen in their life, but they still remained faithful to God? What can you learn from them?

Read next: The Character of David, The Godliness of a Humble Heart