Once I tried to climb a wall. I was at a family church camp, as an adult, and we were harnessed up and allowed to climb a rock climbing wall with the foot rests and finger holds that help you along the way. The climbing started out easy, and I thought, “Oh yeah, I’ve got this.” But then I got to a point where I couldn’t reach the next grip. I was in this weird crouching position, my legs not strong enough to push, my arms not strong enough to pull. So I stayed there, stuck for a minute before letting go and safely falling back to the ground.
In the beginning the wall felt safe, easy to overcome. But then the wall became my enemy. As much as I wanted to reach the top, there was no getting over this wall on my own.
From Safe to Suffocating…
And I find this to be true in my life. I have put up walls that feel like protection, like a hedge that keeps the large animals away from the sheep. But that feeling inside the wall can go from safe to suffocating. A wall meant to guard me from harm becomes a wall that keeps me stuck, isolated, and lonely. If seeing is knowing and knowing is loving, then my walls were preventing me from feeling seen, known, and loved. And what about those around me? How can I love them well when there is a wall between us?
Some of us are good at building walls. Each time we let a doubt, hesitation, or insecurity keep us from connecting with someone, we add a brick to the wall. We like to blame the wall on others, “They don’t like me. They didn’t invite me,” but I have found the wall is often made of bricks I put there myself.
My own inclination is to back away, to separate whenever there is discomfort, assuming others want as much personal space and independence as I do. I think I’m doing someone a favor by leaving her alone. But God calls us to make connections, to go and do, to love Him and to love others. I can’t love others well when my main goal is self-protection.
As I think about my relationships with others and who I am called to be to those around me, I look to Jesus. And I see that he was not in the business of building walls, but of taking them down, brick by brick.
–“Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” (Matthew 9:11 NIV). Jesus was removing the brick that said some are not good enough to enjoy God’s companionship.
–“You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (John 4:9 NIV). Jesus was removing the brick that said Jews and Samaritans don’t talk to each other.
–When Jesus said, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7 NIV), He was removing the brick that said there are sinners and saints, because we are all sinners.
The posture of Jesus is an open invitation. There is no wall there, no barrier to protect Himself.
Will I let Jesus help me take down the heavy bricks stacked together in my wall?
*Jesus lifts the brick that says, “I’m not good enough” and reminds me that God cares for the sparrows, and I am worth more than many of them (Matthew 10:29-31 NIV).
*Jesus takes away the brick that says, “I’ll do it wrong” and tells me God generously gives grace (James 4:6 NLT).
*He removes the brick that says I’m all alone, while whispering that God will never leave or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV).
*Jesus tosses away the brick that makes me feel weak and lets me know that when I am my weakest, God is at His most powerful (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV).
*When I worry about rejection, awkwardness, conflict, and all the what-ifs, Jesus reminds me, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).
Removing bricks and taking down walls that feel safe is scary but sacred work when we invite Jesus to do it with us.
Those bricks that have been replaced with new, more truthful messages become the foundation we can walk on as we move towards others. Shame built the wall, but love lays the path towards comfort and compassion with our neighbors. When we love God and let Him love us back, He gives us the courage to lean in towards others—even when what’s comfortable is to lean away.
What walls have you put up, my friend? What messages are written on those heavy, burdensome bricks? And what kind words from Jesus will become the truth that you freely walk on?
Next time you are stuck behind a wall—feeling left out, alone, rejected—you’ll be tempted to say, “What’s wrong with me?” But instead ask God to show you the way out towards love and freedom.
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