Notes to Self posts are shorter and more personal than my regular blog posts. I hope these words encourage you as they encourage me. This is the second Note to Self—relationships matter.
A Letter from My Eighty-Year-Old Self
Have you thought about what your life will be like when you’re 80-years-old? Recently, I was tasked with just that. Here’s the assignment from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way:
“Describe yourself at eighty. What did you do after fifty that you enjoyed? Be very specific. Now, write a letter from you at eighty to you at your current age. What would you tell yourself? What interests would you urge yourself to pursue? What dreams would you encourage?”
This was fun to imagine what my life would be like. And how do I want my life to be when I’m 80? What kinds of things will I have wanted to do? And the answer surprised me. I thought my 80-year-old self would congratulate me on the books I wrote and the other creative dreams I followed. But instead it was this:
Dear 40-Year-Old Natalie,
Here I am at 80 and I want to tell you something: relationships matter.
Your words matter too, but here at 80, it’s relationships that fill me up, not the writing that I did.
Your words won’t keep you warm at night.
Live Life with People
Ouch. I am all for pursuing creative dreams and living the life God is calling you to live. There is abundant satisfaction in following your God-given desires. I do think that is important. But I’m reading multiple books at the same time and they all seem to be giving me the same message: live life with the people right in front of you.
In Jonah, Navigating a Life Interrupted, Priscilla Shirer asks the reader to list the top three aspirations in her life right now. I wrote 1)Be a good mom, 2)Write words, and 3)Sell our house. I’m also reading Hands Free Mama, A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters. The title speaks for itself.
Ignore distractions and embrace the life God has placed before you. Sometimes, that means creatively and sometimes that’s relationally. But greater and greater I’m feeling that more than impacting thousands, hundreds, or even just dozens, I’d rather have lasting influence on those nearest to me. Writing is important to me, but family even more.
Relationships Matter Even to Introverts
As an introvert, I feel most like myself and enjoy myself the most when I’m alone. I wake up early every morning to drink coffee and read my Bible in solitude. I recently went out early to watch a sunrise—alone. Julia Cameron encourages her readers to take artists dates alone, and I was thrilled to have permission to do fun things by myself.
But I want to enjoy more of life with my people. That’s where the memories are made. That doesn’t mean I won’t be writing or creating or enjoying my alone time, but it reminds me that memories are what last. To create is fun, but then it’s followed by the desire to create more and more.
I feel most connected to God when I’m using the gifts He’s given me. Those gifts could be specific talents and skills, but gifts are also the people He’s allowed to cross my path or to live in my home with me. Being intentionally present with my husband, children, family, friends, and even strangers allows me to gratefully receive their companionship as a gift from God. Here’s the end of the letter to my current self, from me at eighty:
Art and creativity are important, but so are love and connection.
Do less alone and enjoy life together with your family.
Teach them the ways of Christ.
That is what will last, even longer than any words you write or art you create.
Go do the fun things you want to do, but take someone with you.
Love, Natalie
“If not today, then when?”
-Rachel Macy Stafford,
Hands Free Mama
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