There’s a phrase we use to encourage others. A well-intentioned phrase that I myself have spoken and received. But as I think about it now, I’m not sure it’s helpful in encouraging someone to find contentment in her current season.
“This too shall pass.”
These can be words of encouragement to the mom bogged down with dirty diapers and no sleep. Or they’re offered as words of hope to the friend in despair over the actions of her distrustful teenager. Maybe they’re given as a boost of support to a friend going through a divorce, a loss, a transition, or an emotional depression.
I’ve received these words with gratefulness (“Thank God they won’t be helpless babes forever!”). “This too shall pass” is an assurance as you go through a difficult time, that you will in fact get through it. But as I reflect on contentment and joy in whatever season I’m experiencing, I realize there are some problems with this phrase. It implies that there’s something better on the other side of my current yuckiness, that the next season will be better—and problem-free. But as we go through different seasons of our lives, we realize that every season has it’s own difficulties that require varying degrees of work.
While some struggles diminish, there will be new ones. And where joy increases, some of it will be lost.
I remember a man at church telling me this was “the easy part” while I was wrestling two toddlers in the pew. The look I gave him must have revealed my bewilderment, because he didn’t stop there: “Just wait till they’re 16 and driving. At least right now you know where they are.”
As much as I didn’t like what he had to say, I’m a little bit glad he said it. His words made me pause to consider that there are good things in that phase of two young children, and if I don’t enjoy them now, they’ll be gone later.
I’m relating changing seasons to parenting because that’s my life right now, but there are other difficult seasons: divorce, loss, moving to an area where you don’t know anyone, sickness, infertility, financial hardships, loneliness, an empty nest. I hope that the words I share below are received as an encouragement and a guide to enjoying the present moment.
Set aside the past.
Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,
I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God,
through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Philippians 3:13-14
Paul had a past that could haunt him for the rest of his days. But he chose to let it go, because he could do that in Christ. He forgets the past so that he can move forward to the prize that awaits him. Likewise, we must let go to move on.
The past cannot be changed, but it can bring pain to your present—guilt, regret, or shame. Even nostalgia, remembering the happy times of the past, can bring pain when we realize things aren’t the same as they used to be. Some of our examples in the Bible are people that didn’t look back. Noah, Joseph, Abraham, Ruth, David, Paul—they all moved forward from the life they knew, something they lost, or horrible things they did.
Plan for the future without living there.
When using a map on a trip, you need to know your starting point and your destination. Otherwise you may take the wrong road and arrive at a place you never intended. It’s good to know where you want to be even if you’re not there yet. Without a goal, your steps are just wondering in the dark. And we know that God doesn’t want His people wandering in darkness; He wants our steps to be sure and solid and moving in the right direction.
Think of your future, but don’t stay there. Daydreaming can be a pleasant escape from the difficulties of today. However, we’re putting ourselves into a place where we can experience blessings that God has not given us. Or we’re imaging trouble that may never come our way. Obedience to God now is what secures our future.
Look for God in the present.
Whenever we relive the past or dream of a different life, we’re only doing this in our minds. Our doing, our living, can only happen in the present. And luckily God gave us exactly what we need to experience our present moments—our five senses.
Living in the present involves seeing the beauty in front of us; listening to the sounds of the people God has placed in our lives; tasting our daily bread; inhaling our favorite scents; touching the physical blessings. And in gratitude, we turn our hearts to God.
Paying attention, engaging with those around us, thanking God, and doing the work in our present keeps us from wasting away the days remembering the past or building an imaginary future.
Wait with hope.
But if we hope for what we do not see,
we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
Romans 8:25
“Waiting is hard. I don’t want to wait.” Those are the words of my three-year-old, and waiting doesn’t get any easier as we age. We are impatient, expecting things to happen on our own time table instead of waiting on God. But hope—hope is our anchor, holding us constant in the storms of life. Hope gives us patience to wait with open hands and perseverance to endure to the end.
Paul wrote from prison that he had learned in whatever state he was in to be content (Philippians 4:11). He had to learn, meaning it doesn’t come naturally. How do we learn contentment in hard seasons? By experiencing the hard seasons and finding God there.
You don’t know how long your current season will last, or if the next one will be “better,” so thank God for today. Find joy where you can and praise God who gives you new life!
I’ve created some journaling prompts to help you to reflect on your past, hope for your future, and enjoy your present. Subscribe below to make sure you receive them!
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