I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you are feeling a bit lonely right now. I’ve seen Facebook posts, articles on Psychology Today, and a Google search of “loneliness and the pandemic” that revealed over 15 million results. I’ve also had a neighbor on another street come out and start a conversation when he heard us walking by his house—a thing that has never happened to us before.
I think many Americans were feeling lonely before the current COVID-19 pandemic, but we were able to hide it with activity and busyness. Now that we’re separated from coworkers, fellow church members, friends, family, and others we come in contact with on a regular basis, we feel like we’re all alone.
Loneliness to me is an old, familiar friend that I wish would quit calling me. Feeling alone and left out seem to be the negative emotions I struggle with the most. When I’m upset, I imaging everyone hanging out without me. And now that everyone is isolated in their own homes, I imagine everyone texting and checking up on everyone but me. But I’ve had to learn to name it for what it is: my imagination. I have no proof that I’m being ignored or that no one has thought about me.
Loneliness is not just a physical separation; it’s a feeling of being unknown, misunderstood, forgotten, or left out. This article gives seven ideas for fighting loneliness, and they are:
- Write down your feelings
- Do a project
- Disengage from social media
- Reconnect with nature
- Get comfortable with the silence
- Practice gratitude
- Don’t think of loneliness only as a negative
I share these ideas because I agree with them, but I think there are a couple that the writer missed: 1) connect with God and 2) connect with others. Loneliness is, after all, feeling a loss of connection. Instead of waiting for connections to be made, go make them yourself.*
*I say this knowing how hard that actually is when you are stuck in a cycle of negative thinking. But the only way to be unstuck is to actually do something.
CONNECT WITH GOD
Even though you feel lonely, that does not mean you are alone. God is not practicing social distancing. James says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you” (4:8). God is there just waiting for you to call on Him.
What ways do you feel closest to God? It could be reading your Bible, saying a prayer, listening to praise music, practicing a centering prayer, going outside. When you are feeling alone, do whatever it is that makes you feel closest to God. He is the friend that is always in your presence, even when you are not aware of it.
I like this blog post by Kristin Vanderlip, Invitations in Loneliness. In it she says, “Loneliness clears a way for us to experience a lasting intimacy with the Lord that we may not have otherwise known.“ Now that we’ve had many things taken away from us, including face to face relationships, we can connect with God in our solitude and isolation.
CONNECT WITH OTHERS
A loss of connection requires reconnection. If you’re feeling lonely right now, I can assure you that someone close to you is also feeling lonely—probably lots of someones. Let’s not wait for a friend to reach out, but be the friends that do the reaching.
Thankfully technology makes it easy to connect with others even when you are apart. Your phone is a tool that you can use for connection, but just because you have a phone doesn’t mean you are connected—a thousand Facebook friends does not stop you from feeling lonely. Even though you are in touch with a friend through social media that does not mean you know what is going on in her life, so reach out through a private message to check in on her.
My favorite way to connect is actually through snail mail. I love letters and postcards! But it is much slower than texting. So to keep some of the beauty of a card, and the speed of technology, I made these digital notecards that you can text or message to a friend from your phone or computer. I hope you love and use them!
To use: Save the images to your phone or computer. Then text, email, or message as you would any photo or meme (I know you can send those!). You can include your own message as well.
I added text to these beautiful backgrounds from the Morgan Harper Nichols collection in the Over app.
I pray that this post is helpful and encouraging for you and that you will feel connected even when you are apart from friends and family.
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