Phones and connection seem to support each other. You have a phone to connect, and you connect better because you have a phone. And maybe that was true before the smartphone entered the world. Now instead of one-on-one communication through a phone conversation, we use our phones to connect with hundreds or even thousands at a time. By expanding our reach, we’ve lost depth and intimacy.
Before you read more, you may want to read my first two posts on this topic, “Why Your Phone Does Not Give You the Connection You Crave” and “Tips to Keep Your Phone from Interrupting Your Life” (post one; post two).
If you’re like me and you’ve cut some phone time out of your life, you may be wondering what to do with your extra time. Because there’s a reason we pick up our phones so much in the first place. Whether it’s boredom, loneliness, or distraction, those reasons still exist even when we choose not to pick up our phones.
In Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport makes some suggestions on how to fill our time with more rewarding activities: fix items in your house that you’ve neglected, learn to build something, join a group for activity and encouragement, create a plan for your leisure and stick with it.
It is so important to find what we enjoy doing and do more of that! We need to fill our time with what fills us up and not what drains us. A phone drains me, because I think of all the things I could have done instead of scrolling on my phone. Writing fills me up, because I feel like I’ve accomplished something. What fills you up? Let’s look at three ways to come alive when we put our phones down.
Connect with God
How amazing are the deeds of the Lord!
All who delight in him should ponder them.
Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty.
His righteousness never fails.
He causes us to remember his wonderful works.
How gracious and merciful is our Lord!
Psalm 111:2-4
One of the greatest dangers of holding our phones too much is neglecting the most important relationship in our lives. In his book, 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, Tony Reinke discusses the impact of our smartphones on not just our lives, but our souls.
“To remember God is to satisfy the soul and to recalibrate our always-shifting perception of reality. But to forget God is to forsake God. This spiritual plague of forgetfulness is not physical forgetfulness or mental dementia. Spiritual forgetting is sin.”
When I’m spending too much time on my phone, the first thing I neglect is my time with God. Here are some ideas that may be helpful to you as you find ways to spend time with God.
Open an actual Bible. When we use an actual book for reading, we are more likely to retain what we read. When looking at a screen, our eyes move faster (trained by the scrolling we so often do) and faster reading means we’re not absorbing what we’re reading. Retention leads to transformation. Also, we’re more likely to be distracted by apps and notifications when reading from our phones our tablets.
Know what you’re going to read ahead of time. Choose a study from She Reads Truth or Daily Grace Co. (or any place you like) and plan ahead the time that you will read and what you will read. Invite a friend for some accountability and encouragement.
You can read this post about why I love She Reads Truth here.
Say a prayer. When we surround ourselves with noise, we take away time we could be casting our anxieties on God and resting in Him. So take advantage of this new quiet and turn over the worries and feelings that overwhelm you to Him.
One of my favorite books to help you pray more is a workbook called Prayer, In Practice by JL Gerhardt. Or for free, you can download How to Pray. Both of these items give you ways to pray and encouragement to pray more.
Go outside. Take your morning cup of coffee outside (without your phone) and admire God’s creation. Watching the sun come up, staring up at beautiful trees, or listening to the birds always stirs up awe and wonder at God’s glory.
Connect with You
Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
Ephesians 4:22-24
The more I read my Bible and pray, the more I feel a desire in me to write, teach, and show love. I know these desires are from God, because the more time I spend with Him, the more I want to do those things. Do you have similar Godly desires that want to spill out of you?
With less phone time interrupting your life, you can actually do more of those things. Staying grounded in God’s Word gives me confidence to go and do that I don’t feel when I’m farther away from God. The less time on our phones, the more time we have to talk to God, listening to the stirrings of our hearts and serving Him with our good works.
I’ve got three books to recommend that have helped me with purpose, creativity, and courage. Here they are in the order I read them, and a quote from each:
Believe Bigger, Discover the Path to Your Life Purpose by Marshawn Evans Daniels. “Belief is the fuel that makes everything operate. Faith is putting your foot on the gas pedal. Fear is slamming on the brakes.”
A Million Little Ways, Uncover the Art You Were Made to Live by Emily P. Freeman. “I can’t imagine anything more dangerous to the enemy of our hearts than people who know who they are.”
You are the Girl for the Job, Daring to Believe the God Who Calls You by Jess Connolly. “Make no mistake that He wants to use you—you—to fight the darkness that lives both within and outside of your comfortable boundaries. Make no mistake that we’re still in the midst of rescue, that He is still in the process of setting things right. Let’s not make the mistake of missing it because our eyes are focused on ourselves, or because they’re overwhelmed by the size of the fight, or because we’re waiting for a hero to do the work for us.”
You may find that the role you desire most to fill is teaching your children more about God, and I couldn’t think of anything more perfect and important than that. Or you may decide that you want to paint, bake, beatify your home, get in shape, or learn something totally new. When you’re rooted in God, you have more courage to grow beyond what you’ve thought yourself capable.
Connect with Others
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15
Less time on your phone gives you more time to invest in your neighbors. Take coffee or a treat to a friend. Visit at her front door if she can’t leave. Go on a walk if she can. Actually talk on the phone, instead of just texting short bits of convo here and there. Take a meal to someone who is sick, tired, or sad. Take balloons to someone’s house on their birthday or just because! Babysit. Donate. Share. Give. Serve. Love.
There are so many ways to serve, and as you spend more time with God and more time alone with your thoughts and feelings, you’ll know more the ways that you desire to serve. A couple resources on this topic:
Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors by Twyla Franz. “A ripple is known not by the small size of the pebble colliding with the water but the magnitude of the reach. Our lives bear resemblance to a ripple because what we do and say and believe affects those around us.”
Love Well on Purpose podcast with Rachel Schelb. These five minute long episodes are full of great tips and encouragement to love those around us with intention. Because if we’re not intentional about it, it won’t happen.
Putting down our phones allows us the chance to live a life worth living. In the words of Cal Newport, “Doing nothing is overrated” (Digital Minimalism). We don’t feel good about ourselves after spending a day of scrolling all the apps. We say we need rest, but information overload only makes us more weary. True rest comes from acknowledging God’s greatness and our own smallness. Satisfaction comes from loving and serving the Lord and those around us, in the ways that make us feel most like ourselves.
Some final encouragement from my favorite encourager, and because I can never put too many EPF quotes in a post:
“The world needs you awake and alive.”
-Emily P. Freeman, A Million Little Ways
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